Five Ways to Match the Emotional Intelligence of Shamu
I was in Sea World recently with my family, marveling at the beauty and grace demonstrated by the killer whales in their show “Believe. While watching in awe, I was struck by an interesting thought. How is it possible that the “predator of the sea” can find it within themselves to fully trust a completely different species with which it does not speak the same language, when divisions within the same organizations seem to fight over which direction to move the organization? What in the world has happened to our ability to trust?
In his great business novel, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Pat Lencioni informs the reader that at the base of all succcessful team building is trust. Unfortunately, it seems much easier to write about it than to find it. One of the great barriers to such trust is the societal teaching that encourages from a young age not to trust strangers. Sure, that protectionism keeps us from being taken advantage of, but at what cost?
When we fail to be trusting in our relationships, we short circuit the amazing potential of collaborative work. By protecting “our ideas,” we create a mere fraction of what is possible.
Here are five ideas to try on to expand your EQ and to begin to reap the synergistic benefits of trust in your life.
1) While engaging with others actions, refrain from defining their intent as negative, even in your mind. It serves no one to create a negative interpretations ultimately based in fantasy. Once one embraces such a belief, our natural tendancy is to defend it as true.
2) Let go of the false belief that others are evil and trying to take you down. Everyone is trying to do the best they can with the resources they have access to. Let’s help them access their greatness rather than keep them in a defensive position.
3) Recognize another’s defensiveness and aggression as what it is, fear. Bring loving energy to all your transactions and anger and hostility will lose their power.
4) Let go of the insatiable desire to dominate. Instead, replace it with hunger to understand the other’s perspective. See it as an opportunity to learn. We all can learn from everyone if we bring a heightened inquisitiveness to our lives
5) Recognize the Truth. We live in an unlimited, creative world of abundance. When we meet others who see things differently, search for a “higher third alternative,” knowing that it is possible to find a solution where everyone wins.
Share with us some of your strategies for building trusting relationship. Let’s move beyond our fear based limitations to live the powerful lives of connection and contribution for which we were created.