Transparency of Children Provides Insight Into Power of Emotions
Children Live in the Moment
Children, with their unfiltered connection to emotional extremes, provide great insight into the impact our emotions have on our perspective, and ultimately our belief about what is possible. Unlike most adults who have discovered the “benefit” of the social mask, children allow themselves to express whatever emotion is present.
Possibility is Powerful
I am blessed to have two wonderful little girls, ages 4 and 6, who show me everyday what it looks like to live in the moment, joyfully self expressing, often fearless about trying new things. When in this state, they are convinced they can do anything and are undeterred by the voice of personal doubt and social pressure. Whatever it is that they envision, they are convinced it is possible. This is the age when being a superhero is certainly within the realm of future career choices.
Focus Equals Meaning
What I believe provides deep insight into human nature though, is how quickly that unbridled confidence can shift into paralyzing fear. As soon as their focus shifts from “what is possible” to “what if I fail,” their ability to be present disappears. Creativity, persistence, and access to their intellectual processes evaporate as soon as fear rears its ugly little head. In an instant, their desire to explore, and their willingness to put themselves out into the unknown is replaced by a cautious self-preservation.
Fear Limits Possibility
While the transparency of the emotional shift is more obvious in children, it is merely better concealed with those more mature. The consequence of such a shift impacts people of every age. Throughout our lives, what we are willing to attempt is limited by the expectations we have of our success and our beliefs we have about how we will be perceived by others.
Choose Our Focus with Primary Questions
Knowing this, we can be proactive by choosing to manage our focus before attempting to force our way through an emotional barricade that is blocking our path to that which we most desire. Too many, in haste to forward their progress, attempt to push against their expectations with willfulness and persistence. Unfortunately, if these courageous acts are not supported by a clear vision of success, they simply exhaust our resources and leave us more convinced than ever that we just don’t have what it takes to succeed. Rather than pushing forward, we should first be asking ourselves more powerful questions to reconnect with our creative resources. Questions direct our focus and our focus determines our expectations of success.
Exercise
Whenever facing a seeming obstacle, change the focus of your mind through this series of empowering questions. These questions were introduced by Kurt Wright in his book, Breaking the Rules.
1. What is great about the situation? (If you struggle here, ask what could be great if you would let it.)
2. What makes that great? ( What about your situation would you like to expand?)
3. What would it look like if your situation were ideal? (Connect to your perfect solution.)
4. What is not perfect yet? (What are some of the imperfections you would like to reduce or eliminate?)
5. What resources do you have to make it so? (What resources can you access to move in the direction of your ideal?)
By consistently asking these questions, you will have your emotions support you as you effortlessly follow your path of least resistance to the life you are meant to live.